no sensory words and figurative language at all

Sample 12

Among the stuffs I use every day, I like my computer the most. Although my computer is not as good as my friend’s, but it’s not a big deal for me. I still be able to make a good use of my computer.

I love listening to music and I have a big collections of music stored in my computer’s hard disk. I also like playing music. I play electric guitar. So I play electric guitar with the accompanying of music I play, through the computer. It’s a good way to practice, beside its fun for me. I’ve also installed some software which supports my learning in music. We don’t have to buy expensive books out there, because I can find the material through some software.

Luckily, I have my computer to support my academic performance. I started using computer for my academic task since I was in sixth grade of Elementary School. But it was hard, because I learned mostly by myself and it wasn’t even mine. I have my own computer when I was in Junior High School, but actually it had to be shared by my brother and sister. I owned my personal computer 4 years later, up to now. So my computer is an old stuff and still serves me well in doing my academic tasks.

I can browse the internet with my computer. I bought a modem, so then I can use my computer to access the internet. This, I’d never have to outside my boarding house to find sources from the internet. But having an internet connection through my computer, I have to be aware of some viruses which can harm my computer system, so I have to install some antivirus program to protect it.

I like my computer. Moreover, I need it for various purposes. I’ll be in trouble if my computer is broken. My computer type is AMD athlon 1.3 Gb. 

 

1. The Generic Structure

1. Among the stuffs I use every day, I like my computer the most. Although my computer is not as good as my friend’s, but it’s not a big deal for me. I still be able to make a good use of my computer. (First paragraph)

   Introduction

 

 

In the first paragraph, the student writes that the stuff he likes most is computer. It is a simple beginning paragraph.

2. I love listening to music and I have a big collections of music stored in my computer’s hard disk. I also like playing music. I play electric guitar. So I play electric guitar with the accompanying of music I play, through the computer. It’s a good way to practice, beside its fun for me. I’ve also installed some software which supports my learning in music. We don’t have to buy expensive books out there, because I can find the material through some software. (Second paragraph)

   Body

 

 

 

 

The student puts the idea of the second paragraph in the beginning sentence. It is about music. The supporting ideas are good enough to be developed into a paragraph.

 

 

Luckily, I have my computer to support my academic performance. I started using computer for my academic task since I was in sixth grade of Elementary School. But it was hard, because I learned mostly by myself and it wasn’t even mine. I have my own computer when I was in Junior High School, but actually it had to be shared by my brother and sister. I owned my personal computer 4 years later, up to now. So my computer is an old stuff and still serves me well in doing my academic tasks. (Third paragraph)

 

 

            In the third paragraph, the student makes the idea in the first sentence, but the supporting ideas are out of the idea. It is such a story of when he started using computer and owning his computer.

I can browse the internet with my computer. I bought a modem, so then I can use my computer to access the internet. This, I’d never have to outside my boarding house to find sources from the internet. But having an internet connection through my computer, I have to be aware of some viruses which can harm my computer system, so I have to install some antivirus program to protect it.  (Fourth paragraph)

 

 

 

 

One of the functions of the computer, such as internet, is put in the fourth paragraph. The student does not describe the performance of the computer, but often describe the functions. Still, the general functions are mentioned.

3. I like my computer. Moreover, I need it for various purposes. I’ll be in trouble if my computer is broken. My computer type is AMD athlon 1.3 Gb. (Fifth paragraph)

   Conclusion

 

 

The student makes conclusion with a simple beginning paragraph. The last sentence of the conclusion should not be included. It is such a description of the computer.

 

2. Language Feature

a.   The Use of Simple Present Tense

The sentence construction of this descriptive composition uses specific tense which is simple present tense. Here are the examples:

-          I like my computer the most.

-          I can browse the internet with my computer.

-          Moreover, I need it for various purposes.

      Nevertheless, the writer uses past tense in the body of the descriptive composition.

- I started using computer for my academic task since I was in sixth grade of Elementary School.

- But it was hard, because I learned mostly by myself and it wasn’t even mine.

- I bought a modem, so then I can use my computer to access the internet.

 

      b.  Word choice of sensory words and figurative language

      There is no sensory words and figurative language at all.